Get all 7 Small Griffin releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Family Man, Dog Imagination, The Vibrary, House Party, Forget Me, Remember Me, and Footage of a Memory.
1. |
The Strangler
03:30
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2. |
Quahog Beach
03:49
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3. |
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I made a friend online by the name of
10011
0001
01101
0001
111
011
0011111
11
011
001
0011101
0
His father was Michael MacIntosh
His mother was a model on Pornhub
Conceptualised on camera
His brother washed away in the bathtub
Internet Friend was young
Internet Friend spoke secrets
Internet Friend whispered
Internet Friend went through something traumatising
I once was a real man
I had arms and legs
I had nipples
And a hole in my penis
Where yellow water came out
But now I am doomed to this life as a digital prisoner
For a cyber crime I did not commit
Internet Friend was wise
Internet Friend knew hardship
Internet Friend showed empathy
In the throes of his own adversity
Internet Friend had a house
Internet Friend said "come and see"
Internet Friend is beckoning to
Step inside of his machine
I am the Internet Friend by the name of
10011
0001
01101
0001
111
011
0011111
11
011
001
0011101
0
He gently touched my tuner
Slightly phasing my frequency
Molesting my good nature
Robbed me of my memory
Internet Enemy hacked my song
Internet Enemy done me wrong
Internet Enemy wants me dead
"You do not belong on my websites!"
You thought this story was a simple one
Assuming virtue where there is only sin
You think this makes you an optomist
It makes you a fool
After countless minutes of clicking and scrolling
Sending strongly worded emails
I survived the frightening grip of my cyber nemesis
Escaping narrowly with only my wits
Gigabyte after gigabyte
Ravaged brutally by the compu-totalitarian
And at the 11th hour
I found a fatal flaw in his programmable prison
For the realm of 1's and 0's is bound by electrical power
And what if I just...
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4. |
General Fiction
03:21
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General Fiction was cycling his bike one day
And he says to himself: "I don't know who I fucking am"
Here comes the red traffic light telling General Fiction to STOP
STOP RIGHT NOW!!!
And he says: "Why should I?"
How do I know this?
Well that's none of your business
The General laughs when he thinks he supposed to laugh
Smiles and strikes the same damn pose in every photograph
General Fiction has no time for rhyme or reason
He assumes every critique as being heathen's act of treason
"Wait a minute" the General interjects
There's something in the lyrics which the General doth protest
"If I am indeed a person who was invented
Then why do I feel so goddamed authentic?
My blood is pumping, fists punching,
My hair grows and epidermis shows
Riddle me this
Why do the Narrator's so-called truths
Have to be communicated to me?
My own truth comes fluid and immediately
Everything is happening to the front of to the side of me
Am I not so obviously the subject of a song?
And it's true
General Fiction is the titular character of this very song
For him, this is a big deal
Something to write home about
For the listener, not so much
Still, General Fiction believes beyond all reasonable doubt
That he feels, thinks, loves, fucks and fears
As much as, if not more-so, than any other man
But that doesn't make him real
General Fiction is the rememberer of his memories
He believes that these are not worth questioning or second-guessing
General Fiction is the thinker of his thoughts
He believes those ought not to be investigated or fought
Malcontent with these arguments
General Fiction cycles home
Clutching onto his newly acquired existence
Bursting through the front door triumphantly
He stands in the hallway and says:
"Well, what do I do now?"
The General always pleased who he thought he was supposed to please
And ceased opportunities to perform his virtuosity
General Fiction always taught his troops conviction
Unaware the contradiction of his maleable opinions
Who is the General alone and nameless?
When the music stops and there's nobody there to argue with
The track's runtime will surely soon expire
Inattentive listeners shuffle out
Doubtfully any wiser
And on one fateful day
This song will face its final play
Never again heard by the ears of man
The General slowly fades away
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5. |
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Lie down Griffin, Peter
Just one beer Peter
My father what do you intend to say tonight
I heard you said N-Words on Family Guy
Did you double-check that with Cleveland
I doubt you did
Yeah, you're working hard but you’re gonna get fatigued
Let’s drive to the seaside and think of a plot for an episode
Cause this joke is getting old
Cause these jokes are getting old
The Small Dudes are jealous
Cause the Family is mine
I love you, I love you
My Family Guy
In the City of Quahog
Where the beer taste so good
There’s a rapist named Quagmire
Who makes the aeroplanes fly
And the character Cleveland
Has the chocolate brown skin
From the brain of McFarland
Came the Family Guy
Premiere at Half 9
VOD on website
In the City of Quahog
Where the beer taste so good
There’s a rapist named Herbert
Who's trying to fuck Chris
And the character Mayor West
Is running for president
From the mouth of McFarland
He asks “oh when will this end?”
Premiere on FOX tonight
VOD on website
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6. |
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Skateboard wheels have nowhere to go
Skateboarding pros have nowhere to go in the winter
Oh, why do they skateboard in the snow?
Don't they know they'll go slow?
Skateboard wheels go slow in the snow
Didn't you know?
Skateboard feet need pavements and heat
Skateboarding guys don't seem to realise
Oh, why do they skateboard in the street
When there's snow that makes them slow?
Skateboard wheels
Have nowhere to go
Skateboarding pros have nowhere to go in the winter
Why do they skateboard in the snow?
Don't they know that they surely will go slow?
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7. |
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The guy from Oasis called me a f****t
I feel so ashamed to be alive
How could this have happened to me?
My job at the post office
That's gone
Wife left me
Took the house
Because
The guy from Oasis called me a f****t
He said to my face
"You're a g*y little f****t!
Get out of my face
You g*y little f****t!
Leave this place
You g*y little f****t!"
There's no need for language like that
"A f****t", he said
"You're a f***ing g*y little
f***ing f****t"
And it was uncensored
Couldn't believe it
For the whole day
I was like "woah"
Just there minding my own business
By the tour bus
With a polaroid camera
And spy glasses
And a trenchcoat
That's where
The guy from Oasis called me a f****t
He looked me in the eye when he called me a f****t
To great surprise I produced a lanyard
Calm down sir, I've a backstage pass
Calm down sir, I've a backstage pass
There's no need for language like that, sir
Have some respect for the backstage pass
The guy from Oasis called me a f****t
Calm down sir, I've a backstage pass
My life will never be the same
Luckily, I video filmed the interaction
But my phone has this weird thing where
When you upload something to the computer
You can't really see or hear anything
Also, my computer is broken
And it probably won't be fixed any time soon
The guy from Oasis called me a f****t
Why would I lie?
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8. |
Family Guy (1948)
02:53
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It seems today
That all you see
Is violence in movies
And sex on sex
But where are those
Good old fashioned values
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
All the things that make us laugh and cry
Lucky there's a Family Guy
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9. |
Gay Dude
01:57
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Gay dude
Don't be so sad
You were made to jizz on my fingers
Remember to let me into your ass
Then we can make this ballad crass
Gay dude
Don't call me Dad
Take a gay song and make it gayer
Remember to shove it deep in my bum
Then when you're done
We'll come together
Na na nana na na
Cum in my ass
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10. |
Deacon Blues
04:22
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This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past
You call me a fool
You say it's a crazy scheme
This one's for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line
I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind
I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I'll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I'll make it my home sweet home
I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
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11. |
Ode to Guinness
04:51
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